the bigger picture.

So I am sitting in my first hour college prep class, and I can't seem to stop thinking about college.

It is in my nature to worry, to worry about the future. I get that from my hero-my mother. I over-analyze the past and even worry about the present as I am sitting in on the moment. I would go as far as saying I am a chronic worrier. I mean I definately know when to laugh-- I am often caught with a case of a laugh attack on a regular basis. And to my friends, I have the most distungished laugh ever! Not to mention the loudest. To be completely honest, the future freaks the heck out of me, definately more than it should anyway. And if I am not worrying about the future, I am at least thinking about its possible outcomes.

I am here to write...about music (which is the heartbeat of my high school life), movies and even the future. I thought maybe writing about the possible outcome could help me except the fact that I am going to have to become independent within the summer break before fall semester. Asking one to move away from everything and everyone that has impacted their lives, and become their own person outside of the small town life is indeed difficult. As I sit here, now second hour studyhall, I look at the students in this classroom. The underclassmen who are discussing who is dating who and gossip that once ruled all of our lives when we were that age. Then I look at my fellow seniors. Knowing that in a few months, I won't see eighty-five  percent of them. Now I have lived in a small community my whole life. My graduating class has 73 students in it, so the 73 that are going to walk with me come May 22nd at graduation, I have been in school with since pre-school. The possibilities for class of 2011 are endless, but the bigger picture is life goes on. I am planning to be a freshman at Bradley University come fall and even though I do not live to far from campus. It still means leaving friends and family memebers who have shaped my life, impermably and forever.

I have many different hopes and dreams, from writing to art; using both as a creative outlet to fuel both my inspiration and desires. So for class of 2011, in 25 days we will officially be done with high school, and move into the real world. Not the world that you see in TV shows:) But the real, explainable, unscripted world. So we have nowhere to go, but up!