I've been stop, and I've been GO! Welcome to College!

I'm a freshman at Bradley University. I love it. I love my friends. I love my classes! I am a Secondary Art Education major:) Yeah, go me! So I am going to attempt to make a website to show some of my art, if I have any people following. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am talking to no one, but part of me is ok with that. It's just the fact that I am getting my thoughts out there. I am sure my blog will catch on sometime....hopefully!:) So if you're reading this, then COMMENT BITCHES:) (ok if you are a friend of mine, please for the sake of my pride, don't comment!) I don't want to think that my only followers are because people who like me. I promise to post my website of art work as soon as I can. I have a (excuse my language) but a shit ton of homework, from art to dumb english. I mean I speak english, and I'm a art major, so yeah what I am trying to say is I don't want to take it! I have too...but moving on. I'm going to start giving you a song of the week!
This week is a song by one of my favorite bands:)!
TRAIN
Save Me, San Francisco:)

#7 being happy

Because you can't put a price tag on living. Being happy and living is something that most people don't do. Yeah, everyone dies but in the end your life is measured by the amount of "living you did." So be happy because life is too short. Hug the ones you love, don't be shy and hide from the truth. Laugh at yourself, because if you can't laugh at yourself then who can:) smile, be happy.

once when i was little.

Life when were were little was a lot easier. Your friends were there all the time because they didn't know anything of not being there. I can't imagine that now I am going to college, and not seeing most of my friends next year. I could believe then, pretend more than. When we were little, everything was sunny. We were innocent and believed good in everything and anything. Now I'm wishing to go back to seventh grade, winning the sectional basketball game, taking us girls to the state tournament. Everything was simpler. Now take a minute and think about your little kid dreams. Now music runs my life, so listen to James Morrison and pretend that your still little.

Like the song says, I was the one...well I was the one to do whatever and not think twice. I was a tomboy. I thought I was one of the boys. I climbed trees, played baseball and even believed I could out run any boy. :) And there was a time, when I trusted everyone. But when you get older, people leave and grow apart. That is not to stay that is bad, because growing is a part of life. I just wish, I could see the kids I used to know. I used to be so close to guy in my class, now were still there for each other but it is different. He was awesome and smart and he got me. He has a girlfriend now, but now saying that I don't wish everyday that it was me. He will never read this...so of course I have the balls to type it. Writing and drawing seem to be the easiest ways for me to communicate the unspoken words that I can't say. The underlying meaning to every art piece I make. Him and me, there was nothing we couldn't do!

But I am not going to live in the past, because I only want him to be happy! I've come to conclusions that, if having things turn out, the way you wanted them to, is the measure of a successful life. Then some may say that I've failed, thus far. The important thing is, not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that everyday won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember its only in the black of the nights that you can see the stars. And those stars lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble or fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you won't get everything that you wished for. Maybe you'll get more that you ever could of imagine. Who knows where life can take you, the road is long, but in the end, the journey is the destination.

we have recieved a cheap connection.

I know I haven't written in a long time. I just graduated high school and everything, beginning of summer and last graduation parties, completely caught me off guard and I haven't written. This blog started out being just a bare minium requirement for me to achieve a B to skate through my college prep class, but naturally it surprised me. I really enjoyed blogging, and decided then and there that I wanted to blog. So please ignore all the "technololgy based blogs," um that was the topic of I had to write about for my class. But now this blog will be all me. From everyday, crazy thoughts I come up with:), to interesting topics that tend to intrigue my mind!

To start this new post off with a bang, I want talk about my favorite commerical ever! And I am sure that you have seen it, but every time I see it I laugh so hard. So from me to my readers, if they exist, here's something to laugh about, because life's too short not to laugh. O yeah, and rumor on the street is that if you laugh you reduce your risk of cancer. I'm doing you a favor...so enjoy:)

#6 Not making plans

Life's too short to make plans all the time. Just do what you want and enjoy it.

A Match Made in Heaven

The Royal Wedding is tomorrow! The marriage of Prince William to Catherine Middleton is definately the talk of every major television shows and stations. I was watching the Today Show with Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira and they are in London awaiting the glorious ceremony so they can help broadcast it to the world. ABC will be broadcasting it, along with CNN, Fox and many others. The world will be put on hold as everyone watching the second biggest marriage unfold. Talk of whom Kate Middleton will be wearing as in fashion designer of her wedding gown. Also word of whether Prince William will be able to serve in the British Army after his wedding because he "wants to stay a normal guy." Which, come on Will, your life has never been of the norm. Just look at your mother, a legend, an icon, Princess Diana, who everyone in the world knows about and her death rocked the very core of England. But I will be one of the many freaks that gets up at 1 a.m. Friday morning to watch the Royal Wedding. Yes, I will watch, as Diane Sawyer broadcasts it on her special edition of Good Morning America. Everyone, every station, every morning news show in America is going to be tuned in to watch this. It is the must watch, biggest news, in America...in the world.

Now I know television has always been part of my life. But has anyone really thought about where and what we would be without it. No MTV, no ABC Family, no TLC (which is airing a week long "Royal Wedding Week".) Television is one of the greatest technological advances ever made...in my book. It brings the news and other world going ons right to your living room. Now I know my peers are writing about the latest advances from Apple and different 3D televisions...but really we couldn't make 3D televisions without the invention of the TV first. So I want to say thank you to whomever invented the television because without you...the possibility of watching the Live Broadcast (well there wouldn't be a broadcast without TV) in full swing at Westminister Abbey!

P.s.-- I love the advances our world and maybe someday our generation will make in the technology field, but thank god for TV! Welcome to a world where you have nowhere to go but up from here.

#5. Finding out the girl you called a name, actually deserved it:)

Ok, so I am usually the person who holds everything in, and Facebook did not help in this situation. I read something she posted on someone's wall. So I sat here at my laptop, called screamed (well lets just say a bad word:))Then I texted my best friend, she totally agreed with me and said she deserved to be called that. Now my best friend, she doesn't bluff anything, or cutesy it up for you, she hands it to you straight on a platter.

So I know she was not kidding when she also said this one girl was a, yeah! It made me feel soo much better, like I am not a bad person. Well I guess that's high school drama for you:) A little taste of what its like to be 1. on the social network (because p.s. Facebook doesn't help any sort of drama situation) and 2. in 12th grade. But odds are half the people you call a name actually deserve it! This definately had to make it on my "awesome" things because it was a glorifying moment, not just for me, but my pride as well.

welcome to 2011

I am a elf " Santa's helper" come Christmas time every year through a program we do for National Honor Society and the things kids ask for. Now the kids that still believe in Santa are kids who are like ages 5-8. I have kids every year who ask for laptops, phones, ATV's, IPads, IPod touches and many other things that, I as a seventeen year old don't own. I am half tempted to write back, no you are too young for these things. Thanks to the technological advances made everyday, younger and younger children are learning more about computers and high-tech toys.

The children of the world have been playing with some form of toy or another since the dawn of time. Kids are quite cappable of being entertained by anything that adults put in front of them.The 21st century has given way to some pretty impressive toys.

In the 1920s, children were content with Teddy Bears, Crayola crayons and Raggedy Ann Dolls. The 1950s gave way to Mr. Potato Head. Jumping to the 1980s, were toys like Nintendo home gaming system. In today's world we have IPod's and laptops suitable for three year olds. Enough types of toys to help build the next generation into major movers and thinkers. This day in age kids would rather play with gaming systems then action figures/ and or dolls, which I played with when I was younger. I, swear, my brothers spend most of their 12 year old lives, either in our den, playing video games or on their IPod touches playing the Sims. Goodbye dolls, hello XBOX Kinnect! From here we have nowhere to go but up.

# 4 double spacing your paper, so it takes up way more pages.

Congratulations!

You just doubled the size of your paper in about 5 seconds!

A for you!:)

#3 eating birthday cake for breakfast.

Birthday's are awesome! It's the day you wait a year for and when it finally comes you get to celebrate you, which should be something you do everyday. This is a day that you get to say, "It my birthday, I do what I want!":)

Welcome to the year 2003, this would be when I was turning ten. When you're little you wait forever for your birthday, seemingly thinking that every year that you get closer to being double digits comes slower than the last. You cross days off your calendar, count hours, minutes and seconds until that day. When everyone shows up for your birthday party (mine was spongebob themed,) you see your present mountain grow taller and taller with every relative's arrival. Now birthdays, they are the bomb, 1. you get presents and 2. you get cake. Who doesn't love cake? I mean come on. Cake is equivalent to making the game winning play or winning that stuffed animal in the claw machine. Yeah, the one in Walmart, where you put in more quarters than it would actually take to buy the thing! But the fact that you got had the perfect angle drop of the claw and the right speed of pulling the stuffed bear up so it wouldn't fall off of the hook, the rejoicing feeling you get when pull out that stuffed purple and yellow bear out of that little slot. That in my mind is the feeling you get when you see your birthday cake. You spot you mother, from across the room, bringing out that cake you so carefully picked out at Hy-Vee (you know out of those books that have choicing all the way from Hello Kitty cakes to Power Ranger ones!.)

But the real prize is not the presents or the birthday cake that you recieve at your birthday party. Its the fact that you get to eat cake for breakfast for the next week! You don't even have to feel bad about eating it every morning either, because something about it being your birthday cake, entitles you to induldge yourself for the next seven days. It almost makes it a right of passage. I mean you can't waste birthday cake and your parents can't tell you no:) So induldge because this birthday "right of passage" only comes once a year and its more like having a post birthday week. It's hands down awesome!

#2 Sundays.

It's a beautiful day. Possible servere thunderstorms later, but I love tornadoes so I say bring it on mother nature! But you know what I love about Sundays, whether it be going shopping or just taking a break from the world, Sunday's a great day to  relax and enjoy some of the smaller moments:

#1. God's greatest creation: ice cream:): The name Sunday is usually thought of as a day to go to church, but now its come to include giant bowls of ice cream, chocolate fudge, whipped cream and a cherry. Ice cream has been the heartbeat of our extistence when we were little. Everything was soo simple then, when a sundae and episode of Boy Meets World could solve just about anything. So if you need a "pick-me-up" right now...here's a sundae for you:)

#2. Lazy consumes. Sundays aren't just the name of a delicious treat but it is also the day when couch potatoes everywhere unite. If the art of being completely lazy was practiced on any day in the middle of the week, people would call you irresponsible. Since Sunday is techinally the "Day of Rest," couch potatoes everywhere wait all week long for that day of relaxation to show it's face again. 

perfect day...and there's nowhere to go but up! 

no room for fear...

Breast cancer is among the leading causing of death in women in the United States. Breast cancer does not discriminate on whom it affects. Unfortunately, death is something that this world has become used to, even the word cancer. But now with the technological advances they are making in the study of breast cancer research, its not a death sentence like it used to be. Now there's mamograms and even MRI's, which are supposedly the "Golden Standard" of early detection. What has changed the most would be the different methods of treatment, from chemotherapy to stereotactic biopsy. It is all up to the patient and how serious they are about fighting this disease.

The lady from whom I recieved my name (or so she says:)), was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago. My Aunt Lynn would be the first to tell you breast cancer cannot control your life. She is a beautiful person and even though her fight with this is sometimes unbearable and even unmanagable she has never given up. I admire her for that, and you know I have never told her that. I love her very much, but you know when you have that elephant in the room, that's always been an issue for me. I would rather hide my feelings, because hiding from them is a lot easier than facing them wholeheartedly. I do not know quite know what my Aunt Lynn has gone through, she has had chemotherapy and that caused the loss of her hair. She is definately a survior though. She has always been a fun and loving person, for as long as I can remember her. She would always not fail in her efforts to please everyone and anyone that she knew or came to know. I know she will never give up and fall to the feet of breast cancer and like I said it is not a death sentence. That pain that she feels at times, whether it be heartache or saddness, she stays strong for herself and even her family, who desperately wish they could be fighting this disease for her. In life, things do happen. What are you going to do? Quit? No, realize now that when your faced with unprecedented amount of fear, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive, because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion, saddness? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there there is something better and that something is worth fighting for. My Aunt Lynn is unflagging to give my family the image that she is alright, but what she doesn't realize is that the person we all wish we could be... is her. She gives off a glow, a radiance as she fights this battle head on. It may be an uphill battle but she doesn't care, she knows that one day she will beat this cancer before it would ever beat her. There is nowhere to go but up, from here!

This song is one of the most inspiring, well yes, sad too. But my Aunt is truly tough. So here's the music video for Tough by Craig Morgan.

#1 When your itunes reads your mind.

There's this blog I have been reading and it is amazing. It's this lady and she writes strictly about things that she loves and or thinks is awesome! So I am going to give it a try, and I am going to try to make it to one hundred "awesome" things.

Sometimes music knows exactly what your thinking.

Sometimes it can put things in perspective, before you can.

I was sitting on my bed with my laptop, eating popcorn and watching One Tree Hill, which is a habitual  night routine at my house. I am a multi-tasker and I tend to listen to music and watch TV at the same time. Well, my itunes was on shuffle and have you ever caught your subconscious thinking of something than all of a sudden after a particular song came it was brought to your consciousness. That is actually what happened. Like I said before, music controls and runs my life...in a good way. I make cd's and playlist's all the time. Each tending to a specific side of me, because you never know what emotion is going to be held on the other side of that corner. I feel like music is made up a little of the actual sound and singer talent, but mostly meaning of the lyrics, underlying at best, but it is there to analysis.

So listen up to what is being played, I tend to think its hidden messages. Reinsurance for that ache you have in your stomach or that smile in your heart. From your sadder days to your most inspiring days to your achieving finally on the top days, music has it all. It's like shopping, you can't look too hard to find, because it has a weird way of making its appearance when you need it the most.

This song...which happens to be one of my favorite of all time! Starting with a guitar solo from the lead guitar John Rzeznik, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is one that will always be in my playlist. This song makes you want to learn the guitar and play along right with him, maybe that should be the affect that songs have on you. :)
p.s. if you have any ideas for my 100 "awesome" things. comment and tell me!

signing out.-there's nowhere to go but up!

In five minutes...

So now the starting line up for the world's fastest talkers. All the way from a beige couch in Pamana City, Panama,  talking a whole month's conversion in 4,6 minutes flat, 5 foot 3 inch number 25... Vivian *Smith.* (changed name because interenet can come with may creepers!) And from your very own Wenona, *Wisconsin,* talking a multiple story conversion in a whopping 4.7 minutes, 5 foot 4 inch, number 16...Kate *Jones.*

Yep, this should have been the introduction my best friend and I should have had before every one of our phone conversions. Over the summer, Vivian would go to Panama to see her mother, and we wouldn't talk for long periods at a time and when we did, due to the expense of a telephone call (yeah, they really should work on that whole long distance price!) we would have to cover long periods of time in five minutes. But, finally, I wised up and got Facebook. Hands down the best thing ever, because we could talk all the time; through posting on each other's wall to IM chatting to messages. I have technology to thank for that. We even skyped, which is seriously the best because it makes it a lot easier to pretend you are actually with the person. Technology has definately shaped the way teenagers do everything and even anything. It makes going away on long trips not so hard anymore! The disappointment of leaving friends back in the states and traveling to a different country...yeah even though she wasn't here on weekends...a lot easier. We texted, but wonder if we lived pre-telephones. Seriously, what would we do? Try thinking of your lives without any technology. Yeah, years way present to this it wouldn't have been that hard to imagine, but now after we have tasted what it about to come, it would be very very difficult.

The fact that her and me could cover whatever the happenings were in under five minutes still impresses me. This year I don't know if she is going, but all in all we'll prolly have the same friendship routine. Yeah, we will Facebook and Skype, but there is something about talking to the person and being able to call yourselves the "World's Fastest Talkers!"...there's nowhere to go but up!

Hollywood, man do I have a pitch for you!

Movies, like chocolate, are insanely addictive. But I mean welcome to the 21st Century, movies are not just a form of entertainment, but a high for potential viewers. Hollywood has definately made movies and cinemas something sublime. I personal love what, well I love mostly, every movie. The fact that everyone of them is different and for that hour and a half you get to be in that movie. Basically, up close and personal, especially with the graphics used today in movies. Our advances in technology have changed so much in movies. Let me take you back, and explore the development of movies from new camera angles to heighten sense that time travel and even HD picture is achievable.

Take a look at Alfred Hitchcock's movie Psycho. This movie was so well produced, though still in black and white it had great graphics for it's time. This is the movie that the infamous shower scene came into play and believe me, that was as creepy as it gets. Hitchcock had wanted to achieve the shot-of a cheap motel in a helicopter flying through the city streets. At that time, helicopter shots were newly invented and rarely used in films pre-1980's. Look see we have made so much progress in technology, because, heck, now we are using helicopters to achieve new levels of height and depth to movies.

Back to the Future was introduced in 1985, and it is one of my favorite movies. This movie is about what it would be like to go..."back to the future." In movies like this you get to see, Hollywood producers were thinking, you know someday we might get there. Marty McFly and Doc were quite a team and they proved, in this movie, that with some plutonium and a lot of luck you can travel in time. Yes, the picture was not in HD like the movies you see now-a-days, but they sure do kick some butt over the older movies. (Which I am not docing on those movies, because they were amazing..check out Casablanca)

Now movies, are 3D and the possibilities are endless. My children, I swear, will be watching everything in 3D and the world as we know it will never be the same. Movies will be more of an experience than entertainment. So like I say...there's nowhere to go but up:)

the bigger picture.

So I am sitting in my first hour college prep class, and I can't seem to stop thinking about college.

It is in my nature to worry, to worry about the future. I get that from my hero-my mother. I over-analyze the past and even worry about the present as I am sitting in on the moment. I would go as far as saying I am a chronic worrier. I mean I definately know when to laugh-- I am often caught with a case of a laugh attack on a regular basis. And to my friends, I have the most distungished laugh ever! Not to mention the loudest. To be completely honest, the future freaks the heck out of me, definately more than it should anyway. And if I am not worrying about the future, I am at least thinking about its possible outcomes.

I am here to write...about music (which is the heartbeat of my high school life), movies and even the future. I thought maybe writing about the possible outcome could help me except the fact that I am going to have to become independent within the summer break before fall semester. Asking one to move away from everything and everyone that has impacted their lives, and become their own person outside of the small town life is indeed difficult. As I sit here, now second hour studyhall, I look at the students in this classroom. The underclassmen who are discussing who is dating who and gossip that once ruled all of our lives when we were that age. Then I look at my fellow seniors. Knowing that in a few months, I won't see eighty-five  percent of them. Now I have lived in a small community my whole life. My graduating class has 73 students in it, so the 73 that are going to walk with me come May 22nd at graduation, I have been in school with since pre-school. The possibilities for class of 2011 are endless, but the bigger picture is life goes on. I am planning to be a freshman at Bradley University come fall and even though I do not live to far from campus. It still means leaving friends and family memebers who have shaped my life, impermably and forever.

I have many different hopes and dreams, from writing to art; using both as a creative outlet to fuel both my inspiration and desires. So for class of 2011, in 25 days we will officially be done with high school, and move into the real world. Not the world that you see in TV shows:) But the real, explainable, unscripted world. So we have nowhere to go, but up!